Celebrating Christmas and Holidays

I was one who was looking forward to holidays because it means time spent with family. But I realise now, I always associate holidays with family. As my family is not what it's used to be anymore, holiday is just another day. I can't be bothered with the gifts giving anymore. Not that I don't want to spend and bless others, but the spirit is just not there. There is no more Christmas shopping and I hate buying birthday gifts because I don't know what to get. I would pay for dinner or buy people things but not necessarily on the special day itself.

I guess it is kinda sad that the excitement is not there anymore. I know it's not the sign of growing up because I don't want to be adults who are skeptical and bitter about things. I want to always be like a child who appreciates little things and be happy with small things. I want to be like a child who looks at things with big eyes full of wonders and excitement.

2015, I hope you will be good to me!

LOVE

People say that love is blind. You will never understand what it means until you experience it yourself. People have their own standard and image in mind on how their perfect partner suppose to look like. Good looking, pretty well off, etc. But once you fall for somebody, it doesn't matter how they look like. It's all really about how the person treats you. How they care for you, love you and accept you for who you are. Once you get comfortable, nothing else matters. Whatever standard you have in your mind disappears and you don't even care. You are happy and secure and loved, that's all that matters right?

People also say, "When you love someone, you'll have to be able to let him go." I hope that not many of you have to experience this. This is also a concept that you will never get until you experience it yourself. At the end, rather than fighting for yourself and make the matter worse, you are better off letting him go. After all, as long as he is happy right? If you love him, you only want what's best for him. As cliche as it may sound, sometimes it is true and it's the only choice that you have. When you love someone, truly love someone, you'll put him before you. Even if it means that you won't have him. I know how painful it is. Letting go. Completely let go. It's not easy to do, especially when all the memories stay in your heart and your head. It'll come out unannounced and make you miss him that much more. But slowly, we need to change our mindset, slowly, letting it go and store it in your good memories folder, like a great vacation. I know it's hard. I'm still struggling.

Only time will heal...only time will heal...prayerfully it'll be sooner rather than later...
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~Stranded~

Stranded
(Kristy Kusuma)
(November 13, 2004)

“For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created things, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” ~Romans 8:38-9


Lord, I am stranded in the middle of the desert
I am lost and I don’t know which way to go
I heard a lot of voices telling me what to do
But I don’t know how or where to start
Little by little,
I am losing my focus
I am losing my energy
And I am losing my faith
Somehow there are a lot of other things that interest me more
Sometimes it is easier to give up and just let it go
But somewhere inside me, there is a little voice that says keep fighting
My heart cries because I can’t help myself
How I long to be with You again
How I long to have Your comfort, to feel Your presence near me, to be filled with Your peace
How I long to hear You say You love me
You say “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”
You say “When your parents forsake you, I will take care of you.”
You say “I need you to survive.”
You say “I love you.”
Lord, I know that it won’t be an easy road
But I am willing to go through it because I know that You are with me
I know that You will always be by my side
My heart cries because I know You will never give up on me
How I am grateful for Your love
Lord, I am stranded in the middle of the desert
But I am not afraid because I have Your power in me


*It is hard to be faithful. It is hard to keep focusing on Him. It is hard to stand up when you have fallen. However, know that He is still there waiting for you faithfully and He will never let anyone steals you away from Him. We are His and He loves us all.